The return of Hidan
by HidanSays
Summary: Konoha is in danger; after months of him being in the ground, he escaped. How? No one knows, but Shikamaru isn't going to quit. But who is this beautiful woman heard to be "assisting" the immortal? What is Hidans true objective now. READ TO FIND A LOVE STORY AND THRILL - I'm totally not convincing anyone...
1. Chapter 1

**Before you Read:**

If you don't like my stories, or this story in particular; please feel free to express yourself… and if I have grammar issues… it's because I don't have a PhD in literature… and I would really appreciate if you guys be kind. If you don't like me in particular… Message me… and I will let you know what kind of person I am.

**Disclaimer:**

I do not Own Hidan, or any of the Naruto character's mentioned in this story… or naruto itself… props to Kishimoto…

* * *

Chapter 1: The find

It had been months since he had been down in that crappy little hole of his. Every day, every minute, every second, he cursed that Shikamaru kid. He cursed him dead; his wails, only he himself can hear them. He saw nothing in that crappy little hole of his, just felt the weight of a thousand pounds on him. The debris was excruciating, being immortal didn't clear the fact that he could feel pain. The pain of no food, the pain of being sick of staring into the dark abyss; but he wasn't going to give up. One day, he'll get out and bite that Shikamaru's head off.

The weight on top of him began to shift. _Must be one of those nasty fucken deer. _He cursed them with his very guts, if he was still attached to those things. _That fucken bitch won't move! How dare that mangy shit trample on a servant of Lord Jashin? Jashin will have him fried alive. _Hidan began cursing in his own mind.

He managed to move his cheek muscle in a position that would be more comfortable, but in this situation, it doesn't really help. He was going to do more than chew that kid's head off. He'll sever him and feed him to cats, and when the cats shit him out, he'll burn the pieces.

* * *

Twelve hours passed, and the weight on top of him felt a lot… Lighter? What was happening up there? He could feel the pressure of something stepping down now, but why is everything getting lighter? Then… he heard a scratching sound about six feet above him. Whatever it was that was doing that, it was digging him out!

_LORD JASHIN! YOU HAVE HEARD MY PRAYERS! _Hidan thought happily to himself. He had waited for this moment to come. Just a few more hours, and he'll be out. Even if whatever it was up there was going to try to kill him, he'll bite his way through, and kill that Shikamaru.

His face felt literally a thousand times better, except the fact whatever it was kept stepping around him. Suddenly, he saw light for the first time in what seemed like forever. Moonlight.

"Are you…" A little voice said. Hidan adjusted his eyes and looked down to see the source of the voice.

Not being allowed to evaluate the situation, his head was picked up abruptly.

"Hey! Hey! You be fucken careful with my head you… you…y…" His words were sucked right out of him. It was definitely a person, a beautiful girl to be exact. Her delicate hands raised Hidan's decapitated head directly in front of hers. Her aqua eyes were alluring; it complemented her ash blonde hair. Her face was exquisite, definitely the most beautiful thing he had seen in a while (literally).

"Are you… Hidan?" She spoke softly. Her lips were full, but she was sweaty; which made her even sexier. Her cheekbones were soft; everything about her looks promised nothing but pleasure.

"Yes I am. Why don't you put my head somewhere where I can have fun?" Hidan flirted, literally smiling with his demolished face.

"Hee Hee, you're a funny guy, but no." She giggled to the lonely head. She slowly stood up and positioned him in a place where she could actually see him. His face did not look pleasant. She nearly winced at the sight of him, but whatever, she has to do what she has to do.

She looked up the deep, deep hole she was in; it was a long way up. _This is going to be kind of tough. _She thought to herself.

"Excuse me Mr. Hidan, but can you tell me where I can find your body?" She asked the severed head.

"Do I look like I was capable of finding my body parts little lady? If I was I wouldn't be in this position right now!" He yelled violently at the beautiful girl. She giggled at his response.

"Oh sorry Mr. Hidan. I didn't know you were in parts; but please wait here." She said as she carefully placed his head on a little stone.

She moved away, and he could see her full body. Indeed she was full, but the way she moved was delicious. She would make a very pleasing offering to Jashin; yes she would.

She wasn't tall, but she was still very sexy. Her legs were plump, it looked comfortable to put his smashed up head on, and how it curves just to compliment that ass of hers. She was enticing just looking at her. Her breasts were large enough to fill his hands if he could put them on her; if he even still had them. She was sexy.

This was a nice view, and all he had to do now was wait for her to find all his body parts. Then he's good to go.

But just who was this girl?


	2. Chapter 2

**Before you read:**

Yup… I'm still writing this story. And yup if you don't like it, please don't waste ur time reading this and trolling…

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own Naruto or any of the Naruto characters, phrases, and terms mentioned in this story.

* * *

Chapter 2: Yukina

It was nearly dawn now. The random sexy girl was still digging around looking for body parts. She had found every piece except for his left arm. Heck, she even found his Akatsuki ring.

"Any day now!" Hidan insultingly wailed. She stopped and looked at the severed head just sitting there on a little rock. _Finally! Some attention! _Hidan proudly thought to himself. He "Claims" he's a womanizer.

"Mr. Hidan, I am aware of your… position; but to unwisely boss me around like some spoiled king? Well… I'll save your "sob story" for later when I fix you up, but I kindly suggest you cease your unwanted gestures for this moment. Please be patient." She replied in a motherly tone.

"You make a good suggestion; perhaps if you tell me your name." Hidan slickly asked the fair maiden. She dipped her arm into the ground and grunted lightly as she tried to pull something out.

"Yukina." She replied as she gave it one more pull; failing again.

"My, my… Yukina is it? Very attractive name. So why'd you dig me up?" Hidan replied.

"SHUT IT!" She replied harshly as she yanked out an arm. She glanced toward Hidan, who was impressed that she had found all his body parts. "Well Mr. Hidan… Shall we get going?"

He scoffed at her; she was amusing; very amusing.

She placed all his body parts in a bag and tied it tightly. The rope she attached it to was very long. After the bag was secured she walked on over to Hidans head and picked it up.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! We already went through this woman! Tsk! Be careful with my head!" Hidan irritatedly commanded Yukina.

She put his head in another bag and tied him to her waist band. _Time for climbing, _she annoyingly thought. She ran up the hill of sand and jumped up to the closest ledge.

"BE CAREFUL!" The head inside of the bag yelled. She rolled her eyes. She has heard rumors of his temper and bad mouth; but she wasn't expecting this from a grown man.

She continued to climb up the walls. She needed to get him out of here quick; it took her quite a while to dig up Hidan, and to find his body parts.

* * *

Shikamaru and his father looked at the hole in horror. It was completely dug up, with no trace left behind. Hidan for sure wasn't down there any longer. They had come too late. Someone had dug up Hidan.

"Inform the Hokage… NOW!" Shikaku commanded his son loudly. How could this have happened? Who could have done this? He watched as Shikamaru jumped hastily through the trees. _What will happen next?_

Shikamaru couldn't believe what had just happened. How could Hidan have escaped? The deer were under a sleeping spell of some sort; and before they knew it, the hole was dug up already. Shikamaru wasn't prepared for this. He didn't know where to start. He had to calm down and think for a while.

A presence was right underneath him, jumping and closing in on Shikamaru now. Shikamaru began to sweat nervously as he pulled out a shuriken. Without warning he threw the weapons directly at the presence.

A blonde boy shrieked in horror and took cover. Naruto.

"Naruto?" Shikamaru asked to make sure it was Naruto.

"What the heck was that for Shikamaru? You almost killed me!" Naruto angrily yelled at his companion.

"Naruto I don't have time to mess with you! I have to go to the Hokage! NOW!" Shikamaru yelled as he turned around to resume his mission.

"The Hokage? What for?" Naruto asked.

Shikamaru turned and looked back slowly at Naruto. "Hidan has escaped." He answered nervously just before he hopped right back into the trees and proceeded to the Hokage.

"HE WHAT?" Naruto replied in horror while chasing after his comrade.

The two of them raced to the Hokage to tell her what had just happened. Surely this was no C-level information.

This was the Akatsuki.


	3. Chapter 3

**Before you read:**

Are you guys enjoying this as much as I am? Yes, my chapters are extremely short. I hope to make them longer soon. Yes, I repeat myself a lot, and yes, I have my own original character… if you don't like her I suggest you stop reading this… Well other than that… Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own any of the Naruto Characters, phrases, or terms mentioned in this story.

* * *

Chapter 3: Pieces

She throws Hidans bag of body parts onto a table. They had been travelling for hours and the head has been bothering her nonstop. They reached a cottage right outside the Konoha Village perimeters. She places Hidans head into a shallow pool of water.

"What are you trying to do? Drown me?" Hidan yelled at her. The water didn't even reach up to his ears, but it was still suspicious. She didn't answer the wailing headless fool. She merely pulled out a piece of paper and showed it to Hidan.

"Is this really you?" Yukina asked. It was an obvious picture of Hidan, before Hidan was put in the state he's in now. He was wearing his Akatsuki outfit and was with Kakuzu. _Kakuzu… _Hidan remembered lightly.

"Hey! That's me and my partner Kakuzu!" Hidan answered.

Yukina looked at the picture again. She glanced and compared the silver haired hunk in the picture to the complaining head in the shallow water. Funny, how time changes someone.

"I'm very sorry you still don't look like this Mr. Hidan. You were quite a stud." She teased. Hidan raised an eyebrow at her, what was she expecting from being crushed under a thousand ponds?

"Well, let's get started then." She said as she turned around and opened the bag of body parts.

"Hey! You be careful with my body!" Hidan again complained. First it was about his head, now it's about his body. For an immortal, he was so concerned about his physical state.

She began placing body parts into the water; connecting it from the neck down. Hidan looked around with the limited possible ways he can to inspect what she was doing by placing his body in water. He saw candles all around the pool, and little markings and talismans.

He looked closer at the talismans and amulets that were hanging and marked all around the pool. He noted the circle with a triangle in the middle of it all. _Jashinism _He immediately grinned. So this girl was a believer. Too bad, she would have made a wonderful offering.

"So… I see you are a follower of Jashin too. I should have guessed it by now." Hidan was amused with how things were turning out for him. First dug up, and now, stuck with a beautiful servant of Jashin.

"Lord Jashin has bestowed yet another one of his splendor upon you; praise his name and succumb to his greatness and he shall forgive you." She replied.

"His greatness has saved me once more." Hidan whispered as he began to go into one of his trances again.

"Lord Jashin had sent me to retrieve you. He wishes you to return to the Church of Jashin immediately and speak to him." She added.

Hidan looked up at her, his trance was interrupted. She had finished putting his body parts back together.

"Well this doesn't help me woman! I still can't move! Can't you sew me together?" He demanded loudly.

She stood directly above him, over his body and positioned her hands into the sign of the horse. She began to chant some incoherent words and phrases. He knew what she was doing; it was a sacred ritual of Jashin.

The water underneath them began to glow an ominous color. Hidan began laughing maniacally; she was actually performing the ritual of recreation on him. His skin began to melt off and sink into the water; his eyes doing the same. The only thing that was left was his bones, which his skull was still moving.

She quickly slapped her hands onto his open rib cage. From her hands, skin, muscle, veins, blood began to engulf the bones again. He was returned. His body fully intact, heck he felt even better than he did before he was buried. His silver hair was there again, his bones were strong again, he felt the missing lungs, arms legs, and toned muscles he thought he would never feel again.

Yukina quickly jumped out of the pond and watched as he inspected his body. She walked on over to a bag, and pulled out some clothing and placed it on top of the table.

"Mr. Hidan, my mission has come to an end. I will take my leave now. We shall meet again Mr. Hidan." She bowed to the naked, glorious man in the shallow pond.

"Yes we shall." Hidan replied.

She exited the cottage and before long, her presence dispersed.

He clothed himself in a regular shinobi outfit. Similar to the ones he had when he was still in Yugakure. He looked on and found his headband. _Sheesh, that girl even found my headband!_ Talk about over achiever.

Although he had to admit, she was really attractive. He exited the cottage and proceeded to the Church of Jashin. If whatever she said was right, then he had to go to pay homage to his lord.

* * *

"So… He's escaped huh?" Tsunade said blankly as she folded her hands in front of her mouth. She was not amused with this information. She had hoped not any of the Akatsuki members would ever come back. He'll probably come back for Naruto or Shikamaru; or even the whole entire Konoha Village itself. She pondered the possible ways of how to prevent any dangers on happening.

"Naruto! Shikamaru! I want you two to tell every ninja to be on top alert! Patrols will have to be regulated more often now." She commanded.

"Yes Ma'am!" They both replied and headed for the exit.

"Shikamaru wait!" Tsunade interrupted. Shikamaru stopped not even turning to look at the Hokage.

"I don't want you doing anything reckless Shikamaru. This isn't a child's game, he's back, and he'll be out for blood." Tsunade informed Shikamaru.

"I know Lady Hokage; I am aware that he has escaped and he may be coming after me, but I am prepared." Shikamaru assured Tsunande. He immediately took his leave before Tsunade can say anything else to him. He knew what he should do; but predicting Hidans next move was going to be difficult.

He walked on and entered the graveyard. He had to see Asuma again. He walked passed the numerous gravestones there. To his surprise, Kurenai was standing in front of the grave. Her obvious swelling stomach showed that she was already a few months down the line.

"I heard that he's escaped" Kurenai spoke.

"Word spreads pretty fast around here huh?" Shikamaru replied.

She gave the younger ninja a worried look. She knew that Shikamaru was in danger now. Shikamaru looked and saw her face. She was worried alright. She had no reason to be though.

"Kurenai sensei, I'll be fine. I'm going to be around for a very long time to help you take care of that baby of yours. I promised Asuma sensei that I would." Shikamaru tried to reassure his older teacher that he would not be done in by some maniacal rampaging idiot.

"Shikamaru…" She hesitated. " You be careful." She didn't want to discourage Shikamaru. She believed in Shikamaru's strength and brain. He'll know what to do and how to solve it; she trusted her very life on it.

Shikamaru looked back at Asumas grave. The lighter was still there, and posies decorated the stone. He squatted down and began brushing off the dead leaves.

"Asuma…" Shikamaru whispered.

His sensei was not fully avenged; but no matter. He'll see through to it. No matter what.

Hidan couldn't have gotten far. He was still in pieces. It'll take forever for that person to put Hidans body back together.

Yeah… he's in pieces.


End file.
